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In the space on the next page, copy and paste these three paragraphs, and then revise and edit them to make them sound more credible. Use the checklist on the last page of this worksheet to make sure that your revision addresses all factors of credibility.

Many cities and towns these days have community gardens--places the city council sets aside for people to rent garden space and plant a few veggies or flowers. The question, though, is whether they are totally useless or not. To evaluate this, its important to look at how much time and how many bucks is needed to set the garden up. What it takes to maintain the gardens, and whether people actually use them and benefit from them. When you look at the big picture, community gardens in most large cities are awesome. However, as someone who visits the community garden in my small town every now and then, let me tell you, it is pricey, dicey, and seedy but not in a good way, a real waste of space. Usually city gardens need to be built from scratch. That means cities must buy and haul in all the materials for the garden beds. If these are raised beds. They must buy bricks or lumber. Sometimes organizers of community gardens will get lucky. Someone will donate materials to them.
They still have to have it moved on site, though. Also, many community gardens requires loads and loads of dirt . . . and fertilizer . . . plus, an irrigation system. Its takes a lot to make a garden from zilch. The costs can far outweigh the benefits in small communities. Larger cities can make this work. They have more options for materials. They also have more people using the completed garden.
The next important thing to look at is how the community keeps up the garden. Often community gardens require it’s renters to spend a certain amount of time weeding and watering the garden. While this might sound good in theory, my experience is that people rarely follow through. They usually start out doing a bang-up job in the spring during planting time, but then their lives get more and more swamped, so they disregards this commitment. If a city is large
enough to have someone on site. Maintenance is not as big of a deal. However, in my small community garden, no one is ever around. In fact, weeds are the reigning “vegetable” growing in our community garden. This makes our town’s community garden a complete joke.
Checklist for Improving Credibility
What personal or professional experience might this author include to make the argument seem more credible?
How should the author include this information in the essay?
What informal words should the author change to make the essay more credible?
Which sentences should the author revise to vary sentence lengths and types?
What colloquialisms and idioms need to be revised?
What sentence fragments, run-ons, comma splices, and/or subject-verb agreement
issues need to be fixed?
Are all instances of its and it’s used correctly?

Respuesta :

Many cities and towns in the past few decades have established community gardens--places the city council sets aside for the community to rent a garden space and plant harvest. The question, though, is whether they have any initial impact on the community or are they just completely useless in smaller towns compared to cities. To evaluate this, its important to look at whether people actually use them for theirs and the communities benefit, how much time and how much budget is needed to set these gardens, and what it takes to maintain these gardens in these smaller towns.
When you look at the big picture, community gardens in most large cities are very beneficial and are a great for the environment also. However, as someone who visits the community garden in my small town every now and then, I ensure you these gardens are not very convenient, and are more in the way than anything. Usually small town gardens need to be built from scratch. That means towns must buy and haul in all the materials for the garden beds. If these are raised beds, they must buy bricks and / or lumber. Sometimes organizers of community gardens will get donations whether that be money or material, but they still have to have it moved on site. Also, many community gardens require a substantial amount of dirt and an irrigation system. It takes a lot of effort for these workers to make a garden from zilch. The costs can far outweigh the benefits in small communities. Larger cities can make this work seeming as they have more options for materials and more people using the completed garden.
The next important thing to look at is how the community keeps up the garden. Often community gardens require it’s renters to spend a certain amount of time weeding and watering the garden. While this might sound good in theory, my experience is that people rarely follow through. The people do great maintaining these gardens in the spring during planting time, but then they get busy, lazy or just forget about it so they disregard this commitment. If a city is large enough to have someone on site. Maintenance is not as big of a deal. However, in my small community garden, no one is ever around. In fact, my garden is overrun by growing weeds and inefficient care taking. This makes our town’s community garden a complete joke.

I HOPE THIS HELPS