I would personally change some of your transition words that you have in here. For example, change it to “in the text” or “on this page”. It’s also not as fluid and doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily as normal
Explanation:
You want your paragraphs to flow and not be sidetracked on other topics. Have one to two sentences focusing on one thing about the story such as suspense, twists, plot points etc. Hope this makes sense :)
Answer:
In your first sentence, you put "fluid" but based off the rest of the sentence I believe you mean "fluent".
In your second sentence, put a period AFTER the word "interesting" and capitalize the "T" in "the".
In your fourth sentence, take away the period after the word "murder" and connect those sentences
In your sixth sentence, take away the comma and make "give" plural. So it should be "This sentence gives"
Lastly, in your second-to-last sentence take away the period after Lanyon.
Explanation:
Sorry I took a little. Please give brainliest
