PLS HELP ME can Someone BETTER correct this for me like make it shorter and everything???? and like re-write it in their own Words ILL MARK BRAINLIST GIVE 5 STARTS AND 50 POINTS PLSS JUST HELP MEE THIS IS 6TH GRADE!!! LANGUAGE ARTS

CHARACTER(S): Ariel, her Father, Maria

SETTING: Pool Competition

Arial tore off her required swim cap, grabbed her towel, and ran outside to her father’s waiting van. She was worried that Maria would win and talked to her dad about it. He reminded her that ''the only thing that matters is what you do, not what you win.''

Every morning she was at that pool, doing laps and practicing her strokes. Ariel pictured herself so many times holding that trophy and smiling triumphantly as she advanced to the Olympic finals. No matter what her dad said, she wanted to win. On Saturday morning, Ariel stood by the pool—waiting for Maria to come out—hoping that she wouldn’t. She did—crying. Ariel could barely hear what Maria was saying to the coach over the noise in the pool area.

The world came into focus again, and Ariel knew what she had to do. Moments later, she approached Maria and looked her rival in the eye. "Here," she said, handing her the pink cap. "It was under the bleachers." "Oh, Ariel. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Maria said through her sobs. "If I could not compete today, I don’t know what I would do."

Ariel turned to her own dad, who was sitting in his usual place in the bleachers. He gave her thumbs–up as she walked to the platform and took her place next to Maria. Maria tightened her pink cap and gave Ariel a smile. “Thanks again. And good luck.” “You’re welcome. And good luck, too.” Ariel replied. She smiled back, triumphantly.